The Latest Itinerary

This is not in order...

But I'm sure that that won't matter. The text below is the most recent itinerary of Sarah and I a-visiting museums.
The Canal Museum was £4 but had an excellent gift shop that meant we walked away labelled as Deck Scrubber and Galley Slave. Useful for strangers to know.
I also purchased a miniature teapot for my mum. And some books. On second thought, maybe a gift shop is not such a great idea, it means we buy nonsense (though I do like a bit of nonsense).

The Grant Museum of Zoology was more dead stuff in jars. Sarah took pictures of a jar of dead moles, a Dugong, me touching a mammoth tusk (she told me to-I still take no responsibility), a porcupine fish and a skeleton of a gibbon. In the past, jarring of dead things seems to have been quite the thing. And they say the internet is a bad thing?

The Petrie Museum of Egyptian Archaeology was a lot of pottery, a lute thing we could play and a picture of a dude that looked a LOT like Hitler. We found him. After his 'death' he became an archaeologist. Mystery solved.
Pics to follow.

Friday, 20^th January Itinerary

Woah, it’s a school day and we’re bunking off! RENEGADES. Well, not really. Given that it is likely we both followed the appropriate HR protocol with regards to the booking of annual leave, this day off is strictly above board.[1] However, we can still feel smug about all those suckers stuck at work while we revel in museum-related frivolity. Don’t expect a pressie from the gift shop, colleagues!   

Today, to mark the first museum visit of 2012, we are heading to not one, but two (possibly even three?) museums.

The first, the Canal Museum, did not feature in the early drafts of the 20^th January itinerary. Originally the intention was to visit St Bart’s Museum, a week-day only destination. However, when telephoning to schedule an appointment on Monday, I received the disappointing news that St Bart’s Museum lady was on annual leave for the rest of the week. As a result, the museum is closed on Friday. She added that the museum was heavily reliant on the goodwill of volunteers.

This crushing blow was tempered by three considerations:

a)     St Bart’s Museum lady likes to take annual leave when we do. What kind of nutter uses up annual leave in the middle of January? St Bart’s Museum lady and us pair, that’s who! Kindred spirits. 

b)     I was picking up quite a strong hint that they were short of volunteers, my dulcet Northern tones evidently made a positive impression on her. Some unpaid work opportunities there for the taking. 

c)      Despite St Bart’s museum lady insisting that bookings were not required for museum visits, it was quite clear that without a confirmation phone call we would have turned up to a closed shop. That would have totally mucked up the Plan. I was pleased with my foresight.

So, it’s off to see canal artefacts instead! Let’s meet at King’s Cross tube station at 12.30pm, outside the main[2] entrance on Euston Road.[3]

Canal Museum London Canal Museum, 12/13, New Wharf Road N1 9RT Admission: £4

After barging about[4], let’s stop for a coffee and jeer at people in suits. We’ll then head off to the Grant Museum of Zoology. Now, I haven’t called these guys,[5] so whether they’re open or not is anyone’s guess. However, this can only serve to add yet more excitement and anticipation on the day. [6]  

Grant Museum of Zoology, University College London, Gower St, WC1E www.ucl.ac.uk/museums/zoology    Admission: free    

  

(Apparently the best exhibit in the Grant Museum is a DODO! Amazing. On the whole, I think there are going to be quite a few skeletons in this place. But surely this cannot be at a Hunterian proportion?)

Finally, and rather ambitiously, I have suggested that if we have time and feel inclined, we swing by the Petrie Museum of Egyptian Archaeology. Why? Because it is FREE, it is NEARBY and I’ve made some additions to the LIST and some extra effort may be demanded of us to keep up speed.

Petrie Museum of Egyptian Archaeology Malet Place, Camden, London WC1E 6BT www.ucl.ac.uk/museums/petrie    Admission: free

After that, I suggest we find a pub in Fitzrovia (The Green Man? W1W 7EP[7]) for a beverage or two. I intend to drink in a measured fashion to avoid embarrassment and minimise discomfort the following day. I am entertaining two seventy-odd year-old women on Saturday, I need a strong constitution to handle the patience required of this situation.[8]

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[1] My only real experience of “bunking off” occurred circa 1994 when my friend Imogen and I decided to spurn the authorities and skive Junior Orchestra. What hilarity! With our new-found freedom we stuck rigidly to the school vicinity and farted about in the infant playground. Afterwards, we went to Guides. 

[2] By “main” I mean Sarah’s main, this may or may not be the same main as understood by King’s Cross Station.

[3] I anticipate a hilarious episode here where we’re both waiting at different entrances brooding over the woeful situation that the other is late / abandoned them / disillusioned with museums etc. Let’s keep our phones on to minimise the turmoil.

[4] Geddit?

[5] Basically because Time Out implied that it wasn’t necessary and this did appear to be corroborated by the Museum’s own website.

[6] Note the inconsistency. On page 1, I referred to the fact that I like to stick to the Plan and that my day would be spoiled by an unexpected event such as arriving at a closed museum. By page 2 however, I’m suggesting that I embrace uncertainty, which brings only excitement to me, notwithstanding the potential closure of the museum. Messed up.

[7] Was this a place we used to frequent at 311? If so, happy memories / fuzzy recollection!  

[8] I would like to stress that I do know these women (they’re not randoms) – one is Granny, the other is Granny’s friend, Madge. They’re travelling down from Scotland for the weekend. Together, the three of us have shared some “challenging” afternoons in the past and I would like to buck the trend. I am not incredibly optimistic about this happening.